Helena Mary Cole

One day, not even a week later, after the weather had taken a sudden turn towards summer, Sandy came to the Old Hall after school and found Alex outside on the back terrace. He had a blanket covering his lap with his sketchbook on top of that, and he was drawing the old circular fountain that hadn’t been working since before Alex’s mom died. He was so deep into his work that Sandy stood beside him for a moment without him noticing her.

She meant to interrupt him right away, but she found herself fascinated by the sight of Alex sketching. She looked briefly at the stained and rusty fountain fixture, and then at Alex’s page, and then at his hand, which at the moment was busily recreating the parapet that surrounded the fountain. There was the smell of old, stagnant water in the air. The dark water that filled the fountain pool was murky and had dead leaves floating around in it. Sandy noticed that, in Alex’s drawing, the fountain was alive with flowing water.

“Alex,” Sandy touched his shoulder lightly.

He gave a start, followed by an impatient glance in her direction. “What?”

“Could you please stop sketching for a while? I’m here to see you.”

“To see me?” Alex repeated, returning to his sketching, “What did you want to see me about?” he asked absently.

Sandy entered his sightline, passing in front of him, sitting down on the parapet and showing him that she was holding a gift bag. “I have something for you.”
Alex stopped what he was doing and looked at the bag. “What’s that for?”

“Alex, don’t be ridiculous. I know perfectly well what day it is today.”

A shadow passed over Alex’s eyes. “It’s not the sort of thing that you give a guy presents for.” But he put down his pencil and held out his hand to receive the gift.
She passed it to him. “It was my mother’s idea. She thought you might like a little something to help keep your mind off things.”

“Oh. Well, thanks,” Alex dug into the bag and found a set of paintbrushes and several tubes of acrylic paint. He looked at Sandy with a pleased but bewildered smile, “How did you know I was thinking of getting more into painting?”

“Your dad told my dad, and he told my mom. I didn’t know it was a secret.”

“It’s not a secret. This is great, Sandy. Thank you.” He reached into the bag and gave the package of paintbrushes a long, thoughtful stare.

“You’re welcome.”

Alex still had his hands full of art supplies when he paused and looked at her again, a very long, slow look. He noticed her long blonde hair, and how her smile made her pleasant albeit less-than-beautiful face light up. Or maybe it was just the late spring sunshine making her hair turn to gold and her skin glow healthfully. The tubes of paint hit the bottom of the gift bag. Because the moment was stretching on too long, Alex felt that he should say something, so he went with, “Sandy…”

“Yes?” she said eagerly, leaning towards him.

Alex fingered the corner of the bag. It seemed like the world around them was holding its breath: the wind didn’t happen to be blowing, the sun shone on uninterrupted by clouds, the birds seemed to have left them alone. Truth be told, he was starting to get a little uncomfortable. “Um…”

“Yes?”

Perfect stillness was suddenly shattered by the sound of a door sliding open and banging shut. They looked up towards the house in time to see Jay stomping down the wooden ramp that Mr. Dow had built last fall. Sandy was crestfallen. Alex felt some relief, though also a twinge of some emotion he didn’t recognize. If he didn’t know any better, he might have thought it was regret. He looked back at Sandy and said, “I don’t know what I was going to say,” which was true enough.

Sandy sighed, “That’s okay.”

Jay was now getting close enough to make himself heard, “Do either of you know where I could go to get a good healthy sister-ectomy?”

Alex grinned. “What did she do now?” He had learned by now that when Jay talked about “my sister,” he almost always meant Erin.

“She borrowed my bike without asking and screwed up the gear shift,” Jay arrived at the old fountain, “I swear, I lost ten pounds just biking up here.”

“Hello, Jay,” Sandy said pointedly.

“Hi,” Jay flung himself onto the fountain wall right beside Sandy and started squirming as if she were the one crowding him. Sandy tried to nudge him away with her shoulder without uncrossing her ankles.

Meanwhile, Alex was saying, “You know, I really think I’d like to meet your sister Erin someday.”

Jay snorted.

Slightly worried, Sandy said, “Really?”

“Sure, she sounds…” Alex knew he had to be careful with his choice of word here because he could already see a frown forming on Jay’s mouth, “…interesting.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Jay said, his frown disappearing. At this point, he noticed the gift bag sitting on Alex’s lap and he snatched it up, “Hey—is it your birthday, Sash?” He began rooting through the art supplies as if looking for the real gift underneath. “I’m sorry, dude, I didn’t know. I didn’t get you anything.”

Sandy grabbed the bag from Jay, “Don’t do that. The lady at the store said you have to be careful with the brushes.”

“It’s not my birthday,” Alex was busy sliding his sketchbook and pencil into the canvas bag slung over his wheelchair handles.

Jay looked at Sandy, “So how come you got him a present? Did he get an A on his homework or something?”

Sandy gave him a scathing look. “Alex’s accident happened exactly a year ago today, dummy.”

“Oh,” Jay’s voice died. Only instead of looking away from Alex this time, he looked at him nervously. There was an awkward pause.

Sandy clamped her lips shut, dying to say something but knowing they probably wouldn’t let her help them along. Finally, she began to think things might go better if she weren’t there. “Should I leave?”

Alex shot Sandy a look and decided to let Jay off the hook. “No, that’s all right. I don’t want to talk about my accident right now.”

Sandy wasn’t ready for the conversation to move on just yet, “But don’t you think we should, or at least the two of you should…”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Alex said.

Jay didn’t know what to say, so he just looked at the ground.

“But…” Sandy persisted.

“Sandy, my dad and I already talked about it for a long time this morning,” Alex was folding up the blanket on his lap, “I’m done.”

“Excellent. What should we do?” Jay stood up.

“I don’t know. We could start by going back inside,” Alex held up the folded blanket, “Could one of you carry that for me please?”

Seeing that she was being overruled, Sandy stood up and took the blanket from Alex almost automatically. She swallowed the lecture she’d been composing with some difficulty and only said, “Why can’t we stay outside? It’s so nice outside.” She looked back at the fountain, reluctant to leave, maybe anxious to get the spell back that Jay had broken a few minutes ago.

“Sorry, kid,” Jay slapped her on the shoulder, “I just got out of soccer practice and I wouldn’t mind going in for a while, too.” They were already on their way back towards the house.

Sandy dragged her feet, “I don’t understand why my vote never counts for anything around here.”

“Oh, get over it, Sandy,” Jay said, “Sometimes democracy sucks.”

“How many times do I have to ask you not to use that word, Jay?” Sandy said.

“What’s wrong with sucks? It’s not a swear.”

“It’s an ugly word. You really need to work on your manners.”

“This ain’t finishing school,” Jay was having fun.

“I wish I could send you to finishing school,” she grouched.

They had almost reached the top of the terrace now. Alex was getting annoyed. “If you guys don’t knock it off right now, I’m going to tell my dad to drive you both home.”

“Aw, Sash, she’s the one who started it,” Jay whined.

“I might as well go home,” Sandy said in a tone that was clearly meant to be threatening, “What are we going to do once we get inside, Alex? I don’t want to play video games, I don’t want to go swimming, I don’t want to play cards, or watch a movie with cars going really fast and things blowing up…”

“Well, it looks like we’ve got a solution, then,” Jay said, “See you later.”

They were now at the top of the terrace, approaching the walk-out doors. At Jay’s comment, Sandy turned bright red. Jay watched it happen with an air of polite interest while Alex looked like he just wanted to protect himself from the coming fury. He stopped wheeling his chair and made a move to cover his ears with his hands.

Just then, the walk-out door slid open. Parker Hale stuck his head out and said, “Are the three of you coming inside or not? I was going to suggest that we all go out to eat at Antonio’s in Homewood, but if we’re going to do that, we should leave soon. What do you think?”

Whatever had been billowing up between the three friends deflated instantly.
Alex had never been so happy to see his father. “That sounds great, Dad. I’d love to do that.”

Sandy’s normal colour was quickly returning, but half of the blanket she was holding came unfolded and flopped forward unnoticed in front of her. “Sure, Uncle Parker. I’ll just have to call my parents.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jay said.

“Alex, you’ll want to get changed first,” Parker said as he cleared the doorway, inviting the three of them to enter.

“Get changed?” Jay said as he followed Sandy into the house, “Why?”

“I’m wearing sweats, Jay,” Alex said.

“And I’m wearing jeans. So?” Jay said.

“So, Alex is going to change into something else,” Parker said firmly. He and Alex were crossing the east living room towards the corridor. “The two of you can take turns using the phone while you wait.”

“And don’t kill each other,” Alex added over his shoulder as he left the room, his father following quickly in his wake.

Jay let Sandy use the phone first, and tried not to listen to what turned out to be a lengthy conversation between Sandy and her mother. Jay couldn’t believe how long it went on. But when Jay’s turn came, and he’d said to his mother, “Mom, I’m having supper with Alex,” and Mom sounded almost too distracted to reply, “All right, sweetie, we’ll see you when we see you,” and they both hung up, Sandy looked equally disturbed that their conversation had been so short. When this business was done for the both of them, however, Sandy was still hopping mad. This was clear to him by the way she was sitting at the computer desk with her arms and her legs crossed, and glaring at him without saying a word.

“Well, there’s no need to look like that,” Jay told her, heading towards the couch.

“Oh, yes, I think there is.”

“I didn’t do anything – I was just bugging you. The moment you figure that out, you’ll be way more fun to be around.”

“You are such a buffoon.”

Jay flung himself down on the couch. “You don’t have any brothers, do you?”

“No. And no sisters, either,” she informed him coldly, in a tone that suggested she didn’t know what that had to do with anything.

“Aw, man,” Jay said, “Now I have to be jealous of you, too. But that sure explains a lot.”

Sandy didn’t know what he meant so she decided to ignore this comment, “In any case, for whatever reason, Alex seems to want us both around, so we’re going to have to find a way to get along eventually, don’t you think?”

“I’m not the one with the problem,” Jay said.

“That is so not true,” Sandy cried, “You haven’t liked me since the first time I shook hands with you on the terrace outside.”

“And you were so happy to meet me, you had sunshine and rainbows coming out of your… ears,” Jay landed gratefully on the right word.

Sandy’s crossed arms relaxed against her body and her face softened a little. “Okay.” She stood up. “Okay,” she repeated, as if repeating it would make things okay, “So, you don’t like me and I don’t like you. It’s not much of a start, but it’s not completely hopeless, is it?”

Jay laughed, “Your main problem is you don’t know how to relax about it.”

“Relax? It’s a huge problem.” She screwed up her face.

Jay laughed again. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re a lot less snobby than you were last fall. I’ll give you that.”

Sandy deflated. “I never meant to be snobby to you.”

“Really?” Jay gave her a dry look but when she sank forlornly back into the desk chair, he only said, “Oh.”

They listened to the clock tick for a moment, Jay picking at a hangnail, Sandy practically slouching, hugging her arms now instead of holding them crossed.

“Look,” Jay said at last, “I’m sorry, all right?”

“Sorry for what?”

“For offending you, like I did just now, apparently.”

Sandy looked at him suspiciously. “That would mean a lot more if you’d promise not to do it again in the future.”

Jay turned away, “Do you get that ‘I’m sorry’ is more than any of my brothers and sisters have ever got from me in their life? And it’s sure more than I’ve ever gotten from them without my parents breathing down their necks.”

“That might just be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh, come on. Haven’t you ever not gotten along with someone?”

Sandy was still meek, “Yes. But most of people I don’t get along with have been to finishing school, too, so…”

“Doesn’t anyone you know ever get beat up, or punched, or spit on, or stabbed with a compass, or…”

“Stabbed with a compass? Who got stabbed with a compass?”

“I did. My sister did that to me one night over math homework, see?” he got up and strode across the room so show her the scar on his hand where Erin had jabbed the mathematical instrument after he’d stolen her favourite eraser and refused to even lend her his. “I guess I kind of deserved it,” Jay added while she grabbed his wrist and gave the tiny scar an avid look.

“I’m sure you did.” After a silent moment, Sandy glanced at Jay, with her hand still on his wrist. She took a breath and dropped the wrist like a hot coal. “How come you come here all the time, then, if you already have such great fights at home?” she asked sarcastically.

“Are you kidding? I have an older brother who’s a cave troll, plus three younger sisters and a toddler brother. I’d go nuts if I had to be home all the time.”

“You come here to keep yourself from going nuts?”

“Basically, yeah.” Jay shifted on his feet, tired of answering these questions. “Why do you want to hang out here all the time if we never do anything you want to do?”

“Oh, Alex and I have been friends for a long time.”

“Give me a break, Sandy, I know that’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” she insisted.

Jay wasn’t about to let her get away with this lie. Eyes narrowed, he said, “That’s not the story Sash tells, or Aunt Fiona, either. She told me you hardly used to come here before last year. I know you’re kinda new around here, just like me.”

Sandy, who a year ago would scarcely have owned Alex to be her friend, but who, now that they were friends, was ready to count all the years that they’d known each other as years of friendship, really did believe what she was saying. But all the same, she blushed and defended herself, saying, “Well, it is true that I’ve been coming here since I was a baby. Our parents have been friends for ages. But I guess it’s also true that after Alex’s mom died, we came less often.”

“Why?” He returned to the couch.

“Think about it. Mrs. Hale and my mother were the ones who were so close. Our dads run into each other from time to time at the country club and that seems to be enough for them. We just stopped coming here as much after the funeral.”

“Okay, but you still didn’t answer my question.”

“What was the question again?”

“I asked why you keep coming here all the time now.”

“Alex was lonely,” she said shortly.

“What am I, his imaginary friend?”

“He was lonely before you came along, I had to do something about it,” Sandy amended quickly.

Jay tightened his jaw. “Oh, right, I forgot you’re a proper little saint, or at least you think you are, which is worse. It’s enough to make a guy sick.”

Sandy turned bright red again. “At least I can mention Alex’s disability without turning into a mush-brain zombie.”

He opened his mouth to reply but she’d also hit a mark. He closed his mouth quickly, just as furious as she was. She wasn’t even looking anymore, having turned her back toward him to boot up the desktop computer. He savagely jabbed the on button on the TV remote control. She began to click away without knowing what she was doing while he did the same with the remote. They cooled down somewhat after a few minutes but all the same, they were both determined to ignore each other.

When Alex came back into the room, he noticed immediately that the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. So much for a pleasant dinner with his two friends and his dad at Antonio’s. He heaved a sigh.

*

HaleOnWheels: Maddy, I have a problem. My two best friends hate each other.
MaddyCakes201: Oh, Alex, this is not my area of expertise. Anyway, it sounds like it’s their problem, not yours.
HaleOnWheels: That’s true, but at the same time, it’s not fair that I have to put up with their fighting all the time. Things were better before, when Sandy was my school friend and Jay was the only one who ever came here.
MaddyCakes201: So, go back to that. Don’t invite Sandy over so much.
HaleOnWheels: She invites herself over. I don’t have anything to do with it.
MaddyCakes201: So, figure out how to tell her not to come.
HaleOnWheels: I don’t want her to come over less, I want her to quit fighting with Jay.
MaddyCakes201: Wait a minute, do you mean to say that she invites herself over, knowing that Jay’s going to be there, and she’s probably going to fight with him?
HaleOnWheels: Yes. I never thought about it that way.
MaddyCakes201: Any chance they don’t hate each other but really deep down like each other?
HaleOnWheels: Like each other? Have you been listening to me? Just looking at each other is enough to get them at each other’s throats.
MaddyCakes201: Some people do that. It’s how they build respect.
HaleOnWheels: That makes no sense, Maddy. And no, I don’t think there’s any chance of that in this case. Respect has nothing to do with it.
MaddyCakes201: Have you told them you don’t want them to fight?
HaleOnWheels: You think I can talk them into not fighting anymore?
MaddyCakes201: You can try.
HaleOnWheels: Well, it’s not like I sit there in silence while they’re doing it. If they don’t know I don’t like it, it’s not my fault.
MaddyCakes201: I’m sorry, Alex, I don’t know what else to suggest.
HaleOnWheels: Fair enough. Next time you message me, I’ll be blubbering and sputtering and drooling and saying, “Maddy who?” because I’ll have lost my mind. Just so you know.
MaddyCakes201: I appreciate the advance notice. LOL.
HaleOnWheels: I’m not kidding.
MaddyCakes201: I have a funny feeling you’ll live. Anyways Alex, do I remember right? Did we pass the one-year mark since your accident?
HaleOnWheels: Oh, yeah, that was a few days ago. I was going to message you but I forgot.
MaddyCakes201: Well, you made through your first year. Congratulations.
HaleOnWheels: Yeah, cause it’s such an honour.
MaddyCakes201: It really is, isn’t it? How did it go?
HaleOnWheels: It was fine, I guess. It’s a bit of a relief to have it over with. Now, I’m not always thinking about what I was doing last year at this time, you know, walking around with no idea that walking was going to be over for me soon. I don’t really want to think about what was happening a year ago anymore.
MaddyCakes201: Totally.
HaleOnWheels: I think I’m going to be all right.
MaddyCakes201: You are.
HaleOnWheels: People imagine they couldn’t do without walking, but if they had to, they actually could.
MaddyCakes201: You know something, Alex, I think my work here might be done.
HaleOnWheels: What? We’re not going to be friends anymore?
MaddyCakes201: Of course, we’ll still be friends. You can always message me anytime you want. But I think I’m done being your mentor.
HaleOnWheels: My mentor?
MaddyCakes201: Well, I am two years older than you, and I’m also a fair bit more paralysed than you, so I always figured that makes me your Yoda.
HaleOnWheels: *laughing so hard right now*
MaddyCakes201: I also like to think I was the one who helped get you into art therapy while you were in rehab. And look how great that turned out, right?
HaleOnWheels: No, Maddy, you don’t get to take credit for that. I’ll give you the mentor thing, but I’ve been into drawing since I was about seven.
MaddyCakes201: Oh, all right. I have to go.
HaleOnWheels: Okay. Is this good-bye forever, then?
MaddyCakes201: NO!!!!! You might not be out of the woods yet, and I really, really want to know what happens with Jay and Sandy.
HaleOnWheels: You make it sound like it’s a movie or something.
MaddyCakes201: It is to me. Bye then, Alex.
HaleOnWheels: Bye, Maddy.